thedarksiren2 | I'm not really pessimistic

PMStic is more like it.
tee!hee!

Just being...contemplative about life? I am not sad, I am just irritable, and thinking wayee too much. It's hard not to when I am up till 4AM and have nothing but this glowing box to bitch at.

Thankies to anyone who has chosen to read the crap I've been posting.

At any rate...

laneybee sent me this thing today, and made me laugh a li'l. Not that I am one to post SPAM-crap in my journal...this will be the first (and probably only) time I will do so.

I'll be nice and spare you boiz the horror, but let me say that it might just put the LJ Crimson Tide into perspective for you. ~;)

Why I finally understand PMS. Some of you may think. This is a guy...why is he writing about PMS?? For a few simple reasons:

1. I have a girlfriend
2. My family is made up of mostly females.

So the question had entered my mind during the second half of the Sweden-Argentina World Cup soccer game, at about 3AM (reasons unknown), and I sat and thought about it, and came up with some analysis:

1: Women bleed 3 to 6 days out of the month. Now, I'm an athlete, and survived 2 car wrecks, I lift and run every day. But I don't know if I could take that. That's like getting stabbed in the same place every month and letting it heal. And they go on and work, live, and play through this. In hockey, one of the toughest sports I've watched and played, they stop the
game every time someone starts shedding blood (I know, different circumstances, but bear with me). Women know it's coming and still run with it. Nothing changes. Life goes on for them. That's freaking mind twisting. Which brings me to my second point..

2:Cramps, bloating, and other assorted pain. The only cramps I know about are muscle cramps, so I'll compare that with these cramps. If these are like that, ouch. It hurts like hell when I get a muscle cramp while running....it feels like someone just shot me in the leg. Having these in that area near my crotch is impossible to grasp. Bloating?? Nightmare. Let me get this straight, you feel and acually get heavier??

Picture this guys:

It's game day, 2 seconds left in the game, and youre bloated. That would suck. It would limit running, jumping, movement...period. I, and all guys can play through game pain, but that, I don't know. And these things strike without warning, like remotely placed smart bombs. Don't want to think about that. Like I'm walking down the street and the pain like someone shooting me in the crotch with an arrow hits. No. Bad things would happen.

Pain sucks, but random pain sucks tenfold.

3: Women discharge a placenta. Damn. That's like something out of The Exorsist. I'm not even going there. Nope, not at all.

4. Women have an aisle to themselves for this thing. Lites. Regulars. Supers. Heavy. From what I understand, you gauge this by how she's flowing. Flowing?? Like blood flowing?? *Shudder* What's next, Niagra Falls??
Then there are things like FDS, tampons, and the like. Tampons. Oh my. I've seen those things, and from what they intend to do, there can be no way that is comfortable. That's a foreign object. It doesn't need to go there. But it has to. The decisions.

5. (and last) This all happens in the region of the crotch. AAAAHHHHH!!! There are some guys I know that will cry when being hit in the balls. A week of constant, severe, nonstop pain - down there?? This has to be like blueballs, only about 100 times greater, and lasting a week. Whoa. So I guess woman in general have a right to act the way they do when this rolls around every month. But, for the sake of all men, I hope that this doesn't occur for all women at the same time. That would be scary. (Better not let this guy know about the LJ Crimson Tide, eh?~;P)

I guess this kinda sums it up: my female friend Lindsay calls it "The week from Hell".

Thank goodness guys dont have that week.

Moral of the story:

1. Never piss a woman off who's on her period.
2. When this time comes, do everything that you can to stay on her good
side. If she has one. If not, run, run fast, and don't look back.

Then again, morals are overrated.