Three cheers for off-the-hook hormonal floods

[thedarksiren2]

So, tonight was not a bad night.
I changed some shit on the computer at work, just to see if I could get under my boss' skin...don't ask why. I feel rebelious or something.

Went to the Asylum for bindrune and taewakan's Porch night. Spent most of the evening enterraining (and being entertained by) angellafurious's D. Damn fine Slap-Jack player, that boy! He kept stealing my brains, and I encouraged him that he was "The Bomb."

His reply?

"You are such a LOSER!"

How I *heart* kids.
LOL

In other news, I have been entertaining a story/ fantasy I have in the back of my head (D. stole all my brains, so I cannot use them right now). Of course, on the drive home I became all reminiscent of times past...memories came up all day, really. Discussion of tattoos and body mods = memories of Chris B. Lisa at work complimented me on taking my time in settling down. She apparently got married when she was 19, and though she loves her kids, wishes she had thought more carefully about her life.

33 is my doomsday.

When I left Jawndomay today, I grabbed two mysterious tapes from the dining room table. The one turned out to be the first live show I ever played with RIOUX. Kevin wasn't even in the band. Nope, it was still Patrick and Dray. The recording/ show was TERRIBLE, but it had one song on it that was never ever recorded..."London Bridge." Strange chaotic mix of techno-synthy shtuff and me singing nursery rhymes while Dray babbled about anything that came out of his ass. It's pretty funny, actually.

Got me stuck in "Back when..."

As the day wore on, the memories came like tsunamis on my spirit; I was training all day, on my feet and busy busy so to keep my head from going too far over the edge.

By the time i made it to the Asylum, I was fairly numb.

After a few hours of slap-jack, talking with people I rarely see (georgeanne, avatar_x and ras_sinister) and my lower right abdomen screaming out for mercy, I decided to leave.

The other tape?
Moby's ambient pieces...a tape made for me by none other than the man who married my cousin and gave me the LSD that nearly killed me two years ago.

I got lost in the sound, losing track of the fantasy I had wanted to write about tonight. Instead, I remembered that friend as he was when we were friends. I remembered all the fun, all the pain. I remembered telling my ex "I love you" while under the influence. I remembered my ex's arms, and then all the arms that followed but left me colder than I had begun.

As I pulled into the driveway, I only wished I could sleep somewhere else tonight. I even contemplated dragging my sleeping bag downstairs to the front porch. But, my body was screaming still, so I went up to find medications.

Lo and behold, the Butt-Running Wonder lived up to her name, at least the "Monster" part.

My favorite shoes to wear almost daily?
They became chew-toys.

*sigh!*

I guess I shouldn't have complained about the tennis ball?

I was actually going to splurge on a tattoo this weekend, but hell, now I have to find some shoes. Oh well...I don't mind shopping for shoes, really. It's all the other clothing I hate to look for. Time-consuming and wasteful, it is.

It IS!

I miss warm arms and large, safe hands to brush the hair off my face.
I miss Leahbug's laughter when I am away too long.
I miss sitting on cliffs talking about everything that meant the world to me with someone who listened well.

I miss being in school where i felt productive, like I was accomplishing something. I feel like I am muck right now.

Don't get me wrong, the whole relationship thing? I don't want it unless it feels like it should and I cannot deny it's power (how friggin' cheesy was THAT?) I just know that come late August, I will have no time for other people, and I will be productive and busy and sleep-deprived and creative till I fall over and cannot go any longer.

But for now?
I am lost in memories and little fluffy clouds.
I had almost forgotten how mush I enjoy The Orb.


Maybe I'll just sleep it all off anyway.
I hope so...perhaps I'll even recall my dreams in the morning. I have been neglecting abstractions a bit. But, well, I haven't recalled anything in so long.

yeah.
sleep is a fine idea.

Comments

Thanks So Much!

[angellafurious.livejournal.com]

For distracting the Little D. Although he did say you were a loser *grin*, when he came home he told me how much fun he had with "that lady, that one who was playing with the cards with me." I can only assume this means you. *smiles*

Thanks for coming to the porch night. I'm glad you were able to make it.

Re: Thanks So Much!

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

He may have meant georgeanne too!

Thankies for the encouraging words though. gah! PMS!!!

[georgeanne.livejournal.com]

strump!

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

That's "SHRUMP!!!!"
HA! HA!

that so ruled!

[georgeanne.livejournal.com]

strum - shrump - hump - frump - bump -

yea! totally - word games wif da kiddies!