*sigh* the last day of doom
May. 7th, 2004 10:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedarksiren2Last day of finals week...
Wednesday sucked ass in soooo many ways, yet went well in many others. I woke up late, and although our choir had a wonderful rehearsal (it's honestly the best the whole choir has sounded in as long as I've been in it) I was so tired I forgot to go to Brian's to rehearse for Sunday. I mean, forgot too. He called me about five and asked where I was...I answered and was "Oh fuck man! I'm sorry!" He just laughed at me, and we figured out that Saturday will be a good day to meet up instead.
The best parts of Wednesday consisted of hanging out with my chocolate-peeps at Sullivans and then at Edgewater to float some feathers on the rocks while the sun created orange tin-foil on the water. It was a very peaceful time spent too, espeically the part where![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bindrune almost peed herself when I belched "WORD!" at her.~8)
I then went to Champps and sang a Heart song, came up second and won $100. The guy who won, Aaron, was really good. That's OK...I can hit the place up again next week, and hopefully will win the $200 first prize...I need the money to pay for my school tuition for the summer, sadly.
Thursday, I got to school and took the dictation exam, and pretty much bombed on the melodic, which is friggin' stupid. Why? Because I did great on the rhythm, which is what I usually screw up on. I don't really know how I did on the harmonic part...I thought I had it, and then it seemed like Kira's fingers moved differently, and continued to do so....or maybe I was just exhausted. The latter is more likely.
I spent most of last night at Arabica in Lakewood working on my musical raping techniques with Josh. He of course wanted to tell me his life story, which at that point I just wasn't interested in. It sounds terrible, but I asked him to come because I thought we could work on it together. I got through another two pages of harmonic analysis before the place closed.
The drive home was a quiet and strange one. I had half a notion to go to Capsule afterwords for the Android Lounge, but I was so under-dressed for the occasion (yay sandals!), not to mention exhausted. I felt bad...I e-mailedkriztoph to let him know earlier in the day that I had to finish up my finals and couldn't make it there to buy him a b-day shot, as was my initial plan. When I got home I didn't see any signs that he'd received the e-mail though, and went to bed worried that he went there without knowing (That would have just sucked too, seeing as we've never met IRL and well, I don't imagine it would leave a good impression.~8( ). I had about four majorly stressed-out dreams throughout the night that I recall, all dealing with the anxiety that he would think I stood him up because he didn't recognize my e-mail address.
In the one dream that involved Kriztoph, I was driving a large black van into an apartment complex parking lot. I saw people drinking and carrying between the cars, dancing and hooting and hollering. Everyone seemed to be having fun, but I just wrinkled my brows and parked a distance away from the festivities.
I went up a large staircase, my ever footstep a loud, intense echo through the corridors. My left ear began to bleed from the loudness of the sound, and when I started to tip-toe, my muscles would get Charlie-horses, to which I would whimper and my ear would bleed more, despite my hand covering it.
By the time I got into my apartment, walking down a long, empty and dusty hallway, I had covered a good half of my shirt with blood. The stain was such a dark color too, it kinda freaked me out. I took it off and walked into the laundry room (I have no idea whose apartment this really was...it sure wasn't Jawndomay), placed it in cold water and almost got frostbitten by the cold. It was kinda funny though...as the ice crystals formed on the running water, they came after my fingertips with raxor-like teeth. It was very bizarre.
I walked out of the laundry room completely dressed, although I didn't realize it as I turned the corner and foundkriztoph in my living room. I tried to cover myself, felt the cotton on my fingers and settled down.
As I walked toward him -- he was sitting calm and quietly on the couch, a slight scowl across his face, his feet propped up on the coffee table -- he turned his eyes toward me slowly, and they were the same red as the stain on my shirt. I stopped moving, and slowly his face turned into rage. He moved forward and swept his arms across the table, blasting thousands of pages of music across the room, some landing in a fireplace that suddenly appeared. I went running after these things, reaching into the fire and watching my skin melt in with the ashes.
I cried I was sorry, and he sat behind me, panting and pissed-off. Eventually he began to calm down, leaned back into his seat, crossed his fingers in front of himself and relaxed while I struggled to pick up the mess through soot-stained tears.
When I finally gathered everything, I crawled over slowly toward the table and set everything back on the table. I left black fingerprints all over the paperwork, and mumbled that Kira would be angry.
He said, "Fuck Kira. where's my drink?"
I looked up at him, confounded, and woke up.
Today, I have a voice-lesson and a juried performance, and then I am done for a few weeks, sans choir rehearsals. I am going to go to a birthday party at Howe House, as one of my friends there asked me to come, so I will. He even told staff to order extra pizza for me. LOL
After that, I don't know what is going on. I left a message forkriztoph to let me know if I can make up for not hanging out last night, but then I ran across another of his posts and saw that he was, in fact, upset that I couldn't make it last night. ~8( I apologized though, which is really all I can do, right? I hope he gets back to me and I can make it up to him tonight...I think an extra shot of Jager should make up for it, but we'll see.
Wednesday sucked ass in soooo many ways, yet went well in many others. I woke up late, and although our choir had a wonderful rehearsal (it's honestly the best the whole choir has sounded in as long as I've been in it) I was so tired I forgot to go to Brian's to rehearse for Sunday. I mean, forgot too. He called me about five and asked where I was...I answered and was "Oh fuck man! I'm sorry!" He just laughed at me, and we figured out that Saturday will be a good day to meet up instead.
The best parts of Wednesday consisted of hanging out with my chocolate-peeps at Sullivans and then at Edgewater to float some feathers on the rocks while the sun created orange tin-foil on the water. It was a very peaceful time spent too, espeically the part where
bindrune almost peed herself when I belched "WORD!" at her.~8)I then went to Champps and sang a Heart song, came up second and won $100. The guy who won, Aaron, was really good. That's OK...I can hit the place up again next week, and hopefully will win the $200 first prize...I need the money to pay for my school tuition for the summer, sadly.
Thursday, I got to school and took the dictation exam, and pretty much bombed on the melodic, which is friggin' stupid. Why? Because I did great on the rhythm, which is what I usually screw up on. I don't really know how I did on the harmonic part...I thought I had it, and then it seemed like Kira's fingers moved differently, and continued to do so....or maybe I was just exhausted. The latter is more likely.
I spent most of last night at Arabica in Lakewood working on my musical raping techniques with Josh. He of course wanted to tell me his life story, which at that point I just wasn't interested in. It sounds terrible, but I asked him to come because I thought we could work on it together. I got through another two pages of harmonic analysis before the place closed.
The drive home was a quiet and strange one. I had half a notion to go to Capsule afterwords for the Android Lounge, but I was so under-dressed for the occasion (yay sandals!), not to mention exhausted. I felt bad...I e-mailed
kriztoph to let him know earlier in the day that I had to finish up my finals and couldn't make it there to buy him a b-day shot, as was my initial plan. When I got home I didn't see any signs that he'd received the e-mail though, and went to bed worried that he went there without knowing (That would have just sucked too, seeing as we've never met IRL and well, I don't imagine it would leave a good impression.~8( ). I had about four majorly stressed-out dreams throughout the night that I recall, all dealing with the anxiety that he would think I stood him up because he didn't recognize my e-mail address. In the one dream that involved Kriztoph, I was driving a large black van into an apartment complex parking lot. I saw people drinking and carrying between the cars, dancing and hooting and hollering. Everyone seemed to be having fun, but I just wrinkled my brows and parked a distance away from the festivities.
I went up a large staircase, my ever footstep a loud, intense echo through the corridors. My left ear began to bleed from the loudness of the sound, and when I started to tip-toe, my muscles would get Charlie-horses, to which I would whimper and my ear would bleed more, despite my hand covering it.
By the time I got into my apartment, walking down a long, empty and dusty hallway, I had covered a good half of my shirt with blood. The stain was such a dark color too, it kinda freaked me out. I took it off and walked into the laundry room (I have no idea whose apartment this really was...it sure wasn't Jawndomay), placed it in cold water and almost got frostbitten by the cold. It was kinda funny though...as the ice crystals formed on the running water, they came after my fingertips with raxor-like teeth. It was very bizarre.
I walked out of the laundry room completely dressed, although I didn't realize it as I turned the corner and found
kriztoph in my living room. I tried to cover myself, felt the cotton on my fingers and settled down.As I walked toward him -- he was sitting calm and quietly on the couch, a slight scowl across his face, his feet propped up on the coffee table -- he turned his eyes toward me slowly, and they were the same red as the stain on my shirt. I stopped moving, and slowly his face turned into rage. He moved forward and swept his arms across the table, blasting thousands of pages of music across the room, some landing in a fireplace that suddenly appeared. I went running after these things, reaching into the fire and watching my skin melt in with the ashes.
I cried I was sorry, and he sat behind me, panting and pissed-off. Eventually he began to calm down, leaned back into his seat, crossed his fingers in front of himself and relaxed while I struggled to pick up the mess through soot-stained tears.
When I finally gathered everything, I crawled over slowly toward the table and set everything back on the table. I left black fingerprints all over the paperwork, and mumbled that Kira would be angry.
He said, "Fuck Kira. where's my drink?"
I looked up at him, confounded, and woke up.
Today, I have a voice-lesson and a juried performance, and then I am done for a few weeks, sans choir rehearsals. I am going to go to a birthday party at Howe House, as one of my friends there asked me to come, so I will. He even told staff to order extra pizza for me. LOL
After that, I don't know what is going on. I left a message for
kriztoph to let me know if I can make up for not hanging out last night, but then I ran across another of his posts and saw that he was, in fact, upset that I couldn't make it last night. ~8( I apologized though, which is really all I can do, right? I hope he gets back to me and I can make it up to him tonight...I think an extra shot of Jager should make up for it, but we'll see.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 08:13 am (UTC)WHAT IN THE FUCK?
I am SO not that bitter... esp around someone I hardly know...
like with what I'm dealing with now via my "best friend" who is fucking me over royally at this point... i'd be in that kind of rage...
but not to someone I don't really know or said they'd buy me a shot...
hahahah do I come off as that much of an asshole?
no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 07:39 pm (UTC)My dreams are always insane, regardless of who's in them. A lot of them are violent, although not many are stress-dreams like this one was. It wasn't just you on my mind, as the music and shtuff you threw was certainly reflective of my wishing to be done with school. I fucking hate music theory right now. And my hands do feel like they will melt if I keep writing and doing things with these pieces I have been toiling over the past week...if nothing else, your violence was more symbolic of my personal angst toward the music I am working on, and not even a bit about you.
I just thought you'd trip on the dream. I generally let people know when I dream about them.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 08:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 07:39 pm (UTC)grr.
rage sex is bad-ass.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 11:42 am (UTC)i need to dance and wear pink hot pants.