thedarksiren2 | Has anyone else

...ever noticed that sometimes the coming down from anxiety-related situations is worse than the waiting within them?

EDT is beyond its own time right now.
I should have been at school half an hour ago.
I don't want to do ANYTHING.
Except sleep.
*sigh*

My mom had surgery on her spine yesterday. I visited with her, my father, my sister and my niece Sunday night, and realized how much I truly miss my family. I am ridiculous, never visiting. ~8( See, and friends get mad that I don't call or visit, but really, I don't even do it with my family. I am indiscriminate, truly. I digress...insert bad drama-music*

The doctors were originally going to go in and separate her vertebrae, put some pins and plates in and that would be that. She was so funny Sunday, talking about how cool it would be to pull out her card for metal detectors! LOL Apparently, there wasn't as much wrong as they anticipated, so they "scraped" *cringe!* some excess gunk from around her nerves, releaving pressure on her spine and hopefully *crossing fingers* she will be able to walk well again.

Yesterday was this incredibly emotional day, spent mostly in University Hospitals, supporting my dad, praying for mom. I saw reflective-ghosts in a cafe, heard Amazing Grace in a cafeteria, lived on Kirkendahl Void CDs, hunted for a ring unsuccessfully, watched my dad crumble as a result of the ring's disappearance only to bloom again when the receptionists found it a few hours later and a penny face-up whispered to him from below. "My luck must be changing," he said with a skip.

shtuff.
yup.

Today is like a recovery day for me. I am in a haze, incredibly tired and having slight breathing issues. Is the pollen count high today? I have been coughing all morning, wheezing and even took a breath from my inhaler. Gawd, don't let me get sick. Not the right time, what without health insurance...chicken noodly soup is a definite must later.

I want to go watch a movie somewhere. I wonder what time the theaters open. Nah, I won't, but the thought was nice.

gah...why? Why don't I want to go to school? Maybe I just don't feel like talking. Yeah, really that's what it is. I kinda want to sit quietly, watch, listen, feel...remember how real I am after feeling like a film reel myself for so many weeks. Life has passed me by the past two years in such a whirl...it's been wonderful, truly, but damn if I am not a bit...I don't know. Just done. Like good steak.

Mmmm...steak...

I'm starting to go a li'l loo-loo over the unknown shtuff. Must. quit.overanalyzing.dammit.

Don't want to work either. Nope nope.
~8P

OH, on a completely materialistic note: my hair is going to go through a drastic change soon. It's time to crawl back into the cocoon and figure out the right formula for the wings I want to wear. Who knew a butterfly had so many lives?