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Oct. 18th, 2003 03:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedarksiren2A few days ago I spoke with my mother about her MS. She will be going in for surgery on the 3rd of November. They don't know exactly what's wrong, so it's exploratory as much as anything else. She tells me not to worry...funny, that.
We talked for a long time about so many things. There were some touchy subjects brought up that I cannot really go into right now, lest I crack a bit more than I care to at the moment. However, my older sister came up in conversation. Supposedly she's been trying to e-mail me and it's not been going through. Chances are, and i told my mother this, she is e-mailing the wrong addy. Not that i want her to have this one, but I told my mom to tell her I will talk when I feel the time is right.
When that will be, who knows.
I have had muses kicking me in the head for about a week now. All I want to do is create, but I am still incredibly busy, despite my wishing. I manage to get a few things accomplished though, between cracks and crevices. I write lyrics on napkins and styrofoam cups, only to forget the melody itself later.
Tonight, tonight a final kiss before she parted with me. The painting I started last winter as a result of all the pain and disappointment Juli gave to me, it is complete, finally.
It's called "J-Rae Affect," and is a combination of watercolors, black ink, chalk, and glass. Ten months of pain, of contemplation, of not understanding, of silence...all in a painting.
When all is said and done, she'll have quite the package being sent to her. Whether or not she'll get it is neither here nor there - it's all about my releasing myself from her grasp. Yes, I WANT her to get it, to feel the pain and have it all come crashing down in her world, but at the same time it is closure for me, and my heart is a bit lighter for it.
I went through my room tonight and now have a very large amount of clothing I am getting rid of. If anyone would like to take a look through the bag, please let me know ASAP. I want to donate it to the homeless if I can, as soon as possible. I am just tired of all the clutter in my world, and need to clean things out a bit. Nevermind the OCD creeping up my spine. Must...control...myself...
Just 17 some-odd hours left!
YAY!
Have a safe trip,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kajmal.
(((HUGZ!)))
We talked for a long time about so many things. There were some touchy subjects brought up that I cannot really go into right now, lest I crack a bit more than I care to at the moment. However, my older sister came up in conversation. Supposedly she's been trying to e-mail me and it's not been going through. Chances are, and i told my mother this, she is e-mailing the wrong addy. Not that i want her to have this one, but I told my mom to tell her I will talk when I feel the time is right.
When that will be, who knows.
I have had muses kicking me in the head for about a week now. All I want to do is create, but I am still incredibly busy, despite my wishing. I manage to get a few things accomplished though, between cracks and crevices. I write lyrics on napkins and styrofoam cups, only to forget the melody itself later.
Tonight, tonight a final kiss before she parted with me. The painting I started last winter as a result of all the pain and disappointment Juli gave to me, it is complete, finally.
It's called "J-Rae Affect," and is a combination of watercolors, black ink, chalk, and glass. Ten months of pain, of contemplation, of not understanding, of silence...all in a painting.
When all is said and done, she'll have quite the package being sent to her. Whether or not she'll get it is neither here nor there - it's all about my releasing myself from her grasp. Yes, I WANT her to get it, to feel the pain and have it all come crashing down in her world, but at the same time it is closure for me, and my heart is a bit lighter for it.
I went through my room tonight and now have a very large amount of clothing I am getting rid of. If anyone would like to take a look through the bag, please let me know ASAP. I want to donate it to the homeless if I can, as soon as possible. I am just tired of all the clutter in my world, and need to clean things out a bit. Nevermind the OCD creeping up my spine. Must...control...myself...
Just 17 some-odd hours left!
YAY!
Have a safe trip,
kajmal.(((HUGZ!)))
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Clothing?
Date: 2003-10-18 08:01 am (UTC)I need to take a picture of you for
no subject
Date: 2003-10-18 11:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-18 01:00 pm (UTC)*shrugs*
When is a good time for you, usually?
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:00 pm (UTC)Maybe Sunday? I have to check my schedule, which is undetermined at this moment. Have to see what staffing is like.