Updatey & hazy-goodness

The weekend, despite all its precognitive jumble, was filled with sisrhtac and calm and reminding myself to do instead of thinking so much. Doing that last bit has left me in a state of euphoria, far more intense and fulfilling than any drug or alcohol might have claimed to have been bringers of in my past. The raw sensations of creativity, of overwhelming sensory-uptake, indulging in things as simple as the sun on my arm while walking through the park to being given the gift of sharing that which is important to someone, and the understanding of that importance...I could ramble on with the metaphors and the mumbo-jumbo, but what it basically boils down to is this:

Imagine, if you will, the thrill and adrenaline of jumping off the ledge of a sinkhole down in Chichen-Itza MX, looking up toward the light of day,the vines and voices of people in the water, the whistles of birds up above, slipping, slipping away. I feel cold at my heels, but I don't allow it to pull me down, for gravity to fulfill its transformation as I sink further. Instead, I kick, I claw at walls that aren't really there, I fight to live a little longer, a little more intensely, and gasp for air as I reach the surface once again.

You know what I do next? That's right...I get out of the water and climb the sinkhole walls again, only to dive right back in the 185+ ft water, head straight for certain death, only with a li'l more knowledge this time around.

*smiles*



For the record, my premonition came true. My friend Brad e-mailed me today, said he got in a wreck this weekend, and it wasn't his fault. Someone rear-ended him in Parma. Luckily, he wasn't hurt badly - he was wearing his seatbelt.

I am glad he's OK. I am glad it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. It was just so overwhelming...thank you to everyone who was willing to take the warning seriously and not think me a wacko for making such a fuss about it. I don't usually get that lost in such a thing, but when everything I am thinking will happen does all of a sudden, well, it's a li'l difficult to ignore.

I have a bunch of things to do, but a nap sounds grand. My sleep is so screwy, and I love it. The time and energy I have spent this weekend between people and art and walking and music and and and...sleep would have been wasteful, even with my dreams.



TONIGHT I will be a guest on ras_sinister's radio show, "Synaesthesia" on 89.3 FM, WCSB, Cleveland, from 10Pm till 12AM. You can listen via live webcast here. As for what the show is like, well, it wanders back and forth between music and conversations with callers and such, some of which are downright hysterical. I copied the description up on the webpage, which reads:

A confusion of the senses, especially when induced by a disorienting variety of music and information suckled right from the Wisdom Teat. The music comes in all colors and flavors, and may seem rather unpredictable at times, but you can definitely count on being thrown for a loop. Don't let the name fool you; Dr. Sinister is here to help. So come into the office, lay down on the couch, and tell the doctor your problems. It's cheaper and more fun than therapy, and a lot safer than going to confession!


And with that, I am off to nake a tap and dream of the beauty I only know in waking-life.
~8)