Five hours till keyboards and exhaustion

[thedarksiren2]

oh wait, I'm already exhausted.
*sigh*

Really though, my head is all spinning, and I need to get it far far away from the ridiculousness that was my night at work. I mean, really, how do some people get through life as they live??? Are they really that fucking stupid? Better yet, do they truly believe that I am that stupid???

If anyone even goes there right now, I swear to gawd...

wraptboy and I got to the party at Lorenzo's just before 2AM. Still hopping, as is usual. The hot tub was steamy, and I thought all the people inside lunatics, both for the contrast in weather to the tub temp as well as the bacteria issue --- eww!!!

Hot tubs are just disgusting!!!!

Inside we found bindrune, nimort, & taewakan playing cards. I all but tackled nimort - I miss picking on him. I don't know why I feel the need to do so, but I always do.

And the Roman was there with the Vania. I was pleasant, as I always am. And he was his usual self, all greety-brotherly-huggy.

Wow, that's just creepy to think about *shivers!*

ANYWAY...

down the stairs to the disco basement; a-ha!!! MORE CULPRITS!!!
avatar_x, sharpshinyclaws and love_power were all chillin' to the stripper-mixes and blinking off-tempo to the strobes.

After a while, some older faces came into the picture, haunting me with their SCAdian illness. No really though - it was nice to see Malkor and Valharjek (I think I spelled that right! ACK!) I found out some info that both saddened me from Malkor and also gave relief. I hope everything works out well in the end for him and his own.

Nothing extraordinary occurred from this point, except for maybe that I became an active member of a back-rub line. Usually I am not so quick to join, but damn it felt good! love_power began on me, but eventually sharpshinyclaws slid between us, and Valharjek in front of me. He said he was falling in love - I told him not use four-letter words around ladies.

wraptboy could be heard with smarmy-giggling from the side where he was partaking in the back-rub mamba with bindrune. All was surreal and silly as hell, what with the "Discovery Channel" song, Prince and Lords of Acid in the same mix - heads were in pain.

Mistress came downstairs to talk, and of course Pennsic war came up. Malkor began running his nails down her spine, her husband Ollie just watching without a twitch. She shivered and said she kinda missed a man with nails, which then brought up a man whose heart I ripped apart several years ago on the rebound.

At least three people made jokes of my being a heart breaker. I played along, and for the most part really didn't care because I'm not a heartbreaker. But this guy, Donzo as we knew him at war, I really hurt him, and it's one of the strongest regrets I have in my life. So, the comments stung and made me laugh all at once, and then, they were gone.

Upon leaving, Valharjek asked me to give him a call sometime, saying that everyone he knows is either married or boring, or just married and boring. I laughed and told him I'd try, but that i suck at phones. He laughed and said thanks for the consideration.

Home by 5AM - message from a boi whom I'd really liked to have seen, but it just didn't happen. Only so many places I can be at once, I guess.

Sunday I met up with evilshell for dinner at the Clifton Cafe. It was fantastic to finally be able to just talk to her and spend time with her, hearing about her wedding, her love, her fears, watching the tears well up in her eyes in approval of the song I've chosen to sing at her wedding, and just listening to this person who's given me so much hope in the small time that I have known her. It was great to spend those few short hours with her, and I am certain my not getting to know her more before she leaves for Switzerland next week to live out her faerytale with the man of her dreams will live among things I shoulda done and regret not.

We left to our ways, she to visit her kitties, me to hear from renwick. I jumped online for just a moment, and barely missed his call (I said I suck at the phone). I listened to his message and just drove over to his place to see him, as he said it would be OK to do.

His kittie answered the door, meowing at each knock I made. I finally got too cold to bare it, and walked in.

I found him browsing his LJ in his office, noting all the new pictures on the walls along the way. I gave him a silly li'l gift, and he showed me his newest suits, and I just smiled because it felt good to spend time with him again. I had, admittedly, been getting used to seeing him at least two, maybe three times a week, and then the last couple weeks got chaotic, mixed-up and reactional, and before I knew it I hadn't spent any time at all with him.

Funny, you think you're not letting people in, that you're guarded like always, and then you realize you've missed them. And I did miss him, whether he missed me back or realized I missed him or even had a thought either way. The fact is, these little things that he shares with me, they are what makes him the unique and wonderful creature that fascinates me so much. And I missed it all.

We eventually found our way to Valley View cinema to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It was such a great movie, even more fun than the first. renwick said he wanted an owl, to name it Bob (meanwhile, he poked me again~;P). I fell for the whomping (walloping?)-willow tree.

I can't even recall the last time I held someone's hand in a theater, but it was sweet, and I almost didn't know what to do with the moment. So I quit analyzing the hell out of it and enjoyed myself immensely.

The ride back to his house involved me playing someone's mixed tape (oh, and that song, the one you asked about - It's called "Caprice {levity}" by In the Nursery, the Seize remix), heat blasting in his face and across his fingertips, notice of the full moon and crazy sky.

upon arrival back at his place, I wished my life and his weren't so oppositely scheduled, wished there was more time to just talk and know more about one another. But instead we slept, and it was deep and much too short-lived.

There needs to be more hours in a day, or at least more life in the hours I have. I feel like I am disappearing sometimes, like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future, when his hand starts to disappear as he plays guitar near the end, like in the picture.

I just hope everyone realizes that I am not fading - I still adore my friends, and wish more than anything else that i could be everywhere with them all the time.

but I can't.

Maybe when I am a famous opera singer I'll look into clones - not that I believe in that sort of thing. In fact, it kind of weirds me out. But what I wouldn't do to give more of myself to those that have given me the gift of their friendship and love.

***and then, she realizes that she's become a sentimental freakazoid and should really just sleep already.***

Thank you to everyone who made my weekend more fulfilling than I could have hoped for. It was all the quality time I spent with many of you that made my Monday a little more tolerable than it might have been.

Sweetest dreams to all!!!

Comments

Minor Technicalities...

[love-power.livejournal.com]

Actually, you most have been enjoying yourself too much to notice that I never actually occupied the position directly behind you; that was sharpshinyclaws. The only time I rubbed your back was one handed while I rubbed her hands one at a time to prevent fatigue.

That's fine though, it's not like this is the first time I've been inserted where I didn't belong. >;P

Re: Minor Technicalities...

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

see, now I'm all confoozled.

I had thought initially that you hadn't, but then wraptboy swore up and down that you did, and after a while I got sick of thinking I was crazy for not remembering you being there, especially considering I was sober. But he swore you were, so i figured I must have been super-sleepy and absent minded about the situation. LOL

That's fine though, it's not like this is the first time I've been inserted where I didn't belong. >;P

Oh yeah???