chaos and wonder

[thedarksiren2]

Yesterday = mad taco skills by yours truly to feed jjjiii and angelhipster. Somehow we managed to acquire the presence of a usually MIA ikkus as well, although it was short lived once I gave him my laminate for the Phantasy show, telling him to tell Veil I sent him as a slave for the auction. Cannot wait to hear that story.

And Jawndomay was cleaned quickly, and fairly well. There is more to be done, but all in all, it was quite productive. Dawndom is shut-down for the weekend, but so is my head in general. Not anyone's fault, just me getting lost in the abyss I can't get rid of in this lifetime.

And just to piss in my count chocula some more, that music that has been missing for almost three weeks? the house burped it up at us yesterday. We were not happy about that, even if we knew it would probably happen. That's how things go in Dawndom.

wraptboy is encouraging, states, "well, at least now you don't have to change what you know for the recitals."

I laugh, appreciating his empathy.

And it was a nice, mellow evening. We drank lots of corona, my throat was healing, my mind lost. My spring fever erupted a bit while ikkus was here, but mostly I just kept my thoughts to myself. He and I have always played on each other's vibes like that, although, well...wraptboy and I know him better than we should. And those thoughts, my wanderng ones? They ran...and I was more lost.

I felt bad...we invited people over, and there I was, body present, mind absent. Memories, futures, anticipation, longing...jealous or envious? i get confused.

My body tells me to sleep, my mind tells me to find something else to think about. So wraptboy and I go in search of sweet things, finding Dairy Queen; I fall aleep in the truck while he is in the Ghetto Mart, until I hear the door and realize the slimy man is staring. I lift my head...he waves. I nod, rather disgusted that I don't even have to go in anymore and he is noticing my presence. ick.

Back in Jawndomay, we watch The Opposite of Sex, one of the few films we own that we haven't watched hundreds of times. Christina Ricci reminds me of sharpshinyclaws in this role. Just her smarm, her wit and attitude. Everything. And it makes me laugh to think I know someone like that.

Movie ends... my head is wandering

I realize after a while that I am drunk, or at least moderately buzzed. I call Vito in the dark, and my head begins to leak. he is silliness, almost brotherly, telling me how he and Vanja (like "Sanja" with a V - I am certain I misspell this name however) are having their issues. I am confused, wanting to say things I need not say. I fight the urges of smarm and angst, lose myself in the leaking, and she shows up and he says goodbye, talk more tomorrow at Sal's. I tell him to forget it. She does not need to hear my thoughts, need for me to reveal myself before her. She would not like me at all, if she does now even.

And something was said in jest about my meeting his family, and I say that his family has not met the little pierced/ tattooed very Irish girl that I am. he laughs, asks if that was meant to be insulting.

I say goodnight.

And I slept black-dreamed.
I woke to someone telling me this is the entrance I have been waiting for, and my sinuses are painful and cruel.

We went to Sal's for bleakfast and swirling coffee with crackers and sugar. And digitylgoddess shows up to go the Indian's game with wraptboy. and they will have fun.

And in three hours I sing to make a grade.

In case anyone is interested...Tri-C west. 3PM. It is free, sans the $.50 for parking.

And now to break limbs.
It is Punk rock time...1...2...:...3...4!!!!