![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedarksiren2Organization was nil. I am not an MC. Had fun no less, but felt stressed. Told Channel 19 News to keep their cameras to themselves or go talk to Veil, seeing as it was his show. I am NOT the postergirl for the Cleveland Goth scene...eff that! Very few show up. Those that do are mostly friends, many with free rides in. I got my roomie in because I understand the money being tight. We need it for bills. Men claim to be messiahs of great art, err...THE great art. Boys from SCA prancing around in their pirate outfits, hennah not happening. Flirting with bois whom I've flirted with for over a year only to find out they are barely legal...X marks the spot.:::shivers!::: Talk with a Grimmer-man who's lost 95 pounds and taking good care - I am proud to see this. I see friends after such a long spell...I am dressed in red-diva style, sparkly-eyes and platformed, trying to feel the fab, only feeling foolish on a stage where I'd rather be singing. But Veil wanted me, and I like to help friends out. Things got stressful...I felt like an ass, and wanted to go home really. Decadent was good, Grimm from PA was too, although the lead singer's voice made me reminisce about high school and ick memories of Megadeth. Killswitch just hurt my head. I guess they are good at what they are doing, but I do not listen to men growling on mics for entertainment, screaming, "Fuck it! Fuuuuuck iiiiittt!!!" I thought Evan had more brains behind those eyes. Maybe they're hybernating? He is a mammal, after all. The roomie-boi comes up and mumbles about the artwork...I feel bad that I harassed him to come out when he was so tired. I want to go home. I wander around some more, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thecreep gives me attitude about the Slave auctions, I am trying, trying, trying to get things out of chaotic mess and into some form of organized, but I was last minute, as was most of this, it seems. No offense to Veil - I think he was doing the best he could. But I seemed to get the blunt end by many people who seemed to be under the impression that I had control over anything, that I was the one running the event; and somehow I fell into their delusions, and got lost. But I was a no one, and wished to be invisible, as I am happy being there in situations like this. I was not the organizer...just the anti-MC. sometimes I believe the Phantasy brings out a strange ick when it opens, causing people to become darker, less friendly, and just angsty. I think I felt bad for the bands though mostly, especially the Grimm and Decadent. the crowds just weren't there, and it is hard to remain enthusiastic when you are playing for ten people. They did fine though, and bless David K.'s heart for saying something about my voice...it reminded me that this is so small, that it is not who I am nor what I shall be defined by. And then I am done, the last of the slaves are sold to some dirty old guy who was looking forward to their whipping him, and he sells the amazing "Portrait of Linda Blair from Exorcist" to Grimmer for ten dollars because, well, he didn't care about the art, honestly. $10. The charity only makes $100 for the NYC fire department. I assure Veil it should be better on Saturday, considering all the followings of the musicians. And i run downstairs to see the choco-peeps who had come and then disappeared (not that I blamed them) into the Chamber while Killswitch was growling and too damn loud. It is vacant of most friends, aside from android23 and [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]. And she is bitter...we both wonder out loud where the fuck is everyone tonight? Both venues were dead, and then some stupid drunk guy knocks an ashtray into the DJ booth...batty goes off, tells him he is disqualified. Go away. She wants to play her happy music, the crowd wants oontz! oontz! oontz! I tell her to say fuck them, but she shakes her head and pays oontz. I want my friends to talk with, to feel safe...I would talk to spinmistress, but she is DJing...don't want to bug her. I feel so odd, out of place, sorts. I sit, alone, watch. I see silly people, handsome men sitting alone at the end of bars swirling their beer in bottles with backwash. Then there are the older ick-men, hungry and hunting. get up momentarily to try to dance to an oontz song, but then decide that I should just go home. And when I return to the box, someone has placed their CDs on top of it. No warning, no signs of who or why. I take a look...can't red in the darkness, my tired eyes, burning from smoke, throat sore...and then I drive away.
the end.
thecreep gives me attitude about the Slave auctions, I am trying, trying, trying to get things out of chaotic mess and into some form of organized, but I was last minute, as was most of this, it seems. No offense to Veil - I think he was doing the best he could. But I seemed to get the blunt end by many people who seemed to be under the impression that I had control over anything, that I was the one running the event; and somehow I fell into their delusions, and got lost. But I was a no one, and wished to be invisible, as I am happy being there in situations like this. I was not the organizer...just the anti-MC. sometimes I believe the Phantasy brings out a strange ick when it opens, causing people to become darker, less friendly, and just angsty. I think I felt bad for the bands though mostly, especially the Grimm and Decadent. the crowds just weren't there, and it is hard to remain enthusiastic when you are playing for ten people. They did fine though, and bless David K.'s heart for saying something about my voice...it reminded me that this is so small, that it is not who I am nor what I shall be defined by. And then I am done, the last of the slaves are sold to some dirty old guy who was looking forward to their whipping him, and he sells the amazing "Portrait of Linda Blair from Exorcist" to Grimmer for ten dollars because, well, he didn't care about the art, honestly. $10. The charity only makes $100 for the NYC fire department. I assure Veil it should be better on Saturday, considering all the followings of the musicians. And i run downstairs to see the choco-peeps who had come and then disappeared (not that I blamed them) into the Chamber while Killswitch was growling and too damn loud. It is vacant of most friends, aside from android23 and [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]. And she is bitter...we both wonder out loud where the fuck is everyone tonight? Both venues were dead, and then some stupid drunk guy knocks an ashtray into the DJ booth...batty goes off, tells him he is disqualified. Go away. She wants to play her happy music, the crowd wants oontz! oontz! oontz! I tell her to say fuck them, but she shakes her head and pays oontz. I want my friends to talk with, to feel safe...I would talk to spinmistress, but she is DJing...don't want to bug her. I feel so odd, out of place, sorts. I sit, alone, watch. I see silly people, handsome men sitting alone at the end of bars swirling their beer in bottles with backwash. Then there are the older ick-men, hungry and hunting. get up momentarily to try to dance to an oontz song, but then decide that I should just go home. And when I return to the box, someone has placed their CDs on top of it. No warning, no signs of who or why. I take a look...can't red in the darkness, my tired eyes, burning from smoke, throat sore...and then I drive away.the end.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 11:00 am (UTC)you did a great job, though!
we left the chamber relatively early because a) nan and ron wanted to go b) i had to teach the next morning and c) certain individuals showed up whom i wasn't in the mood to deal with.
did i mention it was a strange night?
no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 05:12 pm (UTC)I was just sad that i didn't get the chance to hang out with you guys, seeing as tonight I am not doing the show, and the rest of the week is school and madness.
Oh well, I guess I am kind of low today. Don't know why, just low. And my throat hurts...not happy at all.
no subject
no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 05:14 pm (UTC)My throat is sore from last night, my nose stuffy, and I need to study.
Have finals all week...gah.