Curiosity kills cats, sticks to kids, and does various other things to otherwise small creatures...

[thedarksiren2]

This is something I have been pondering a while, for no good reason but because it is something so small yet so incredibly prevalent in our society, or so it seems anyway...

I have noticed the ongoing trend of people saying "love you," rather than "I love you," and this is both in intimate relationships as well as in familial and close friendships.

I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed this, cares, has thoughts/ comments/ snide remarks regarding this trend. I can take my own guesses, but then I always say the "I," because I feel it is important to make that commitment when saying such a powerful phrase. It occurs to me that people may not view it as such a powerful phrase anymore, but as more of a habitual statement in relationships overall.

Things that make me go hmmm....how about you?

I am looking for responses to this, so please lemme know your thoughts...even "anonymous" posts will be OK. I won't look for ya later, I promise!~;)

Comments

[moonthink.livejournal.com]

People always say "I love you Moon", to me - when they are drunk...

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

[tete6871.livejournal.com]

this is only semi-related (b/c I fear I may be one of those 'luv ya' ppl...depending on the situation!) but... you should hear my 4 year old niece say "i love you too"...it is quite possibly the sweetest thing ever!!!!!!!!!

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

I bet!

BTW...I am not knocking people saying it this way, I am just wondering why they do it, I guess. Is it because we shorthand everything in our lives? Are we so lazy a culture that we don't feel like using every word in a sentence (imagine if people did this in every sentence they spoke...hehe...I bet'd be damn funny to listen to!) or is it just a fear of committing to taking ownership of one's true feelings?

Just thinkin' about it...

[helenoftroy1478.livejournal.com]

I too have noticed the skipping of the "I" in "I love you". I do feel it is important to say I, but sometimes I don't say it. When I skip "I", I emphasize Love a lot more than usual to make up for it. It's very weird and I don't know why I do it or other people do it. Tres strange. I mean if you are saying "I love you" you better mean it.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

I guess with some friends I say short-speak it, but with those whom I'd consider "loved ones," I say the "I" first.

I have noticed the distinguished emphasis on the word "love" when short-spoken, however.

Strange indeed.

[limbik.livejournal.com]

I tell Jim that I love him. 'Love you' is more so when I am being cutesy and we are playing around. 'I love you' is when he's dancing with me across the floor and the candles are lit, and then we drink wine and he gives me a rose.

But we're strange.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

Nothing about that sounds strange...in fact, it sounds quite wonderful.~8)

[hematite-cross.livejournal.com]

"luv you" (because I always think of it as luv rather than love) is a general good bye to close friends and loved ones. It's a somewhat absent-minded phrase, firmly in the polite phrase category. Still it has a bit more meaning than phrases such as "have a nice day" etc. because it is only said to those I care about. Just like "luv you later" is only said to my mother-in-law. It's our polite-endearment. There is meaning, but it's somewhat automatic. An absent meaning, as it were.

"luv you" can also be a reflection of mood: silliness or cuteness, usually. Here, it is less absent-minded and is usually accompanied by other silly or cute (or annoying) behaviors. In this case, it may also be easier to say to more distant or new friends, especially if you aren't one willing to express deeper emotions quickly around new people.

"I love you" has more immediate meaning. It's more than the words. It indicates focus on what is being said. The "I" emphasis helps to show that the speaker is completely with you, thoughts on you, even if only for that moment.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

vewy intewestiiinggg...

thanks for your thoughts.
~8)

[erinnicole93.livejournal.com]

EYE wub EWE!!!

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

ewe wood.

[bindrune.livejournal.com]

maybe our mouths are disintegrating, and we just don't know it yet. shortened phrases are our only clue. we're fucked.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

I think the mouth of sauron has affected you more than you're willing to admit.~;P

[mediaexmachina.livejournal.com]

We tend to say "I love you" when speaking to each other, and just "love you" as a closing in emails. Shorthand I guess.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

*nods*

okey-dokey.

[shadist.livejournal.com]

I say both.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

in what contexts and why???

[shadist.livejournal.com]

Love you tends to be a goodby with Jen and I.


I love you is when I am telling her how I feel.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

Taking this as literally as possible (and thus, I hope you take it with a grain of salt, but it's kinda where I was headed with it all in the first place...kinda), would you say then that you mean the words less when saying goodbye than when you are telling her how you feel?

I guess I think it's important to say the "I" in all instances, if you're going to say the phrase at all. I mean, when saying goodbye, it might be the last time, right? You never know...

Not knocking you...this actually came up after getting off the phone with someone last night who said, "love you," as we said goodbye, and it kinda bothered me, due to the source of the words. I just feel it should mean enough to them to say it in its full context.

[shadist.livejournal.com]

I thought about this at some length. . . and even said "love you" to her as we got off the phone last night.



I think, at least for me, Love You is a goodbye and a reminder that I do, in fact, love her.

I love you is more a declaration of my feelings. Its more deeply felt and meaningful.

[tiktiktok.livejournal.com]

I would guess that in many cases it's just lazy/shortcut grammar. The same way people leave off the "I will" portion that would go before the phrase "see you later." Or someone asks something like, "how do you like my new sweater/haircut/couch/penis-shaped-water-bottle/etc." and the reply is "looks good" or "looks tasty" or some similar thing, in which the "it" is left off the beginning.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

I knew you wanted my penis-shaped-water-bottle!

On a more serious note...~;)

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

I tend to lean toward your explaination as the answer, just because I don't want to believe that people have become so disconnected that they cannot take ownership of important emotions whole-heartedly.

Re: On a more serious note...~;)

[tiktiktok.livejournal.com]

I am actually kind of surprised by some of the other answers above/below, and at the risk of cheesing some of them off, I'd like to say, I just don't get it.

First off, if you love someone, why would you need to say it to a lesser degree when saying goodbye, etc. or only say it and really mean it when haivng a serious discussion.

Second, if you don't really love someone, then why is there a need to come up with some sort of intermediate "luv" or "I-less" love that sounds the same, but doesn't really mean the same thing. I mean, if you feel uncomfortable saying it, then it seems silly trying to rationalize why when you do say it, you really don't mean it.

Third, it's one word. Two people using this word, whether in friendship or something deeper should know enough about each other and the nature of their relationship to not stumble on one little word. It's not the word, it's the weight of what it carries. And if people are uncertain of this, or trying to hide it behind mists and veils, then there's something more wrong than just a little bit of symantic juggling.

Re: On a more serious note...~;)

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

That's just it...I don't think people think about it as much as perhaps they once did, so they say it half-heartedly and as a form of habit rather than with the meaning that should be there from the start.

And I agree with you completely on the weight of the word "I," and also believe people should utilize the phrase either in its entirety or perhaps not at all. I mean hell, jjjiii blatantly says, "I like you," to people when he feels it, and I know he means it as it is.

There are degrees of love and like and any number of emotions. I realize some are stronger than others, but still feel they should be felt fully if they are going to be used in any fashion. If you don't feel it to the degree in which it is meant, simply don't say it.

Or maybe I just think too damn much...~{8/

[icariancypher.livejournal.com]

I include the "I." It's important.

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

agreed!

[nomadoh.livejournal.com]

I never use "love you", "luv ya", etc, etc. as it is too casual, overused and just plain flippant. From? What? To Whom? "I Love You" fills in the basic blanks and should be used towards those that you truly love. Honestly, there are only 2 people I use that I regularly use that phrase with and mean it with all my heart: My girlfriend Kim and my Mom Faith. (Occasionally my Dad if he refrains from giving me shit about whatever random subject he goes off on). I have a basic and varied love for all my friends and family, but it is more important to show some degree of love, respect, interest, etc with those parties than to awkwardly say it.
:D

[thedarksiren.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your input, :D. ~8)

I agree

[jjjiii]

"love you" is such an LA way of saying it. You can say it without meaning it, because it's not connected to you, not really. You're just relating a concept of loving someone, which always makes people feel good, and what's wrong with feeling good, right? It's all about the vibe...

Yeah. Fuckers from L.A. infect everyone with their mass culture.

*I* on the other hand, love you. Me. Now how's that?