It's Monday, and I am fighting the melan...umm, how do you spell it???

[thedarksiren2]

I couldn't sleep. I tried, even took melatonin. Nope, didn't work.

I've been having nightmares since Friday, none of which I can really remember, but it's like I fall asleep only to fall immediately into sleep paralysis, which freaks the shite out of me. I mean, I know I am supposedly sleeping :::suddenly overrun with the utter annoyance of people who say "supposeBly" instead of "supposeDly"...WTF??? il stupido!!!::: but I cannot move, and cannot control my body. I wake up abruptly...even though it feels like I've been awake for a while, just unable to open my eyes, and immediately start contemplating the DUMBEST shite, like maybe I shouldn't try to control my body, just let it do what it wants. Am I a control freak?

I gather myself, my thoughts, gently, so gently...no controlling, no hard-hand on any of it. I just close my eyes again, and try to fall back to sleep.

What worries me most in all of this is that the last time I went through this sort of thing I started sleep-walking. Which is fine, except for I am on the 4th floor of a large brick building with mostly strangers and in a very small room. Nevermind the whole waking up and not knowing where the hell I'm at. That always scared the crap out of me. It's been about four or five years since I did anything like that. I hope these dreams and instances are just flukes.

So yeah, I was a groggy-sleepy mess when I woke up, and I woke up late (go figure), read about Chris REEVE ~;P :::sticks tongue out at moonthink:::, rode my bike like a maniac to get to class on time, and did fairly well on my first of three midterms today.

Music Lit & History gave me some really fascinating info that I may share later, should I remember to do so. Someone remind me,ok? It's really kinda cool, but I'll forget...because I forget a lot of things these days. ~{8/

I took my Italian midterm and feel pretty good about it. I have a feeling I made a few little silly mistakes, but if I can make a B, I'll be happy. I am not striving for the As like I used to...maybe that's bad, but I am overwhelmed, and honestly I don't know how to make anymore of an effort than I've been making.

I have an English Diction midterm here in a little while. I am going to hop in the shower really quickly, then head out and sing and study some more, and then it's my opera class, which I just came to the sad realization that I may not be able to take net quarter due to some other classes. I am bummed about it...that's my favorite class by far, Dr. Feener my favorite professor, and one of the few times during the day where I enjoy what I'm doing. Italian is fun too, but nothing beats Opera Theater class for sisrahtac.

OK, time to mozy.

Hope everyone else is having a good day. I am sorry this is so blah...I just needed to vent. Yay human-ness.

Comments

[moonthink.livejournal.com]

Melatonin isn't a "make you fall asleep faster" kind of pill.

It works best when used like so:

1) Take for several days in a row.

2) Take at least an hour before you want to go to bed

3) IMPORTANT: turn off all lights - make it dark

4) Don't wait to get sleepy, get in bed anyway

[tete6871.livejournal.com]

1) no need to apologize for 'blah' we all need to vent!! and we love you and want to keep your spirits up during this adjustment period, or at least be here for you if you need someone!!!

b) elavil is a medication generally used for depression but is used also for 'chronic pain'... it may not help the pain but lemme tell you...it KNOCKS you out!!!! I mean SLUMMMMBER!!!!!! (which is why i look so pretty at work today...b/c i couldnt get up in time and slept until 7:10!!) pretty=sarcastic!!
the medication is CHEAP too!!!!!

3) hope YOU have a good day!!!!!!!!

melon - collie

[qenaziel.livejournal.com]

it's a Lassie-shaped gourd. first, you get Timmy out of the well, then you spit her seeds at him!

and no apology needed; human, after all, tastes of chicken! [never apologise for chicken. . . turkey, maybe. . .]

*squeeeeeeeze!*