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thedarksiren2and today is getting grumblier by the second.
Therefore, I bring out my special weapon of choice...a glass of OJ mixed with Peach nectar and...
BIZARRE NEWS
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
It has always been said that laughter is the best medicine.
Scientifically speaking, studies have shown that laughing
produces beneficial effects on physical health, including
decreasing the secretion of certain stress hormones and
boosting blood levels of infection-fighting antibodies. Still,
just like any other medicine, overdoses can lead to fatal
consequences.
Though we often think of the term 'dying laughing' as an
exaggeration, there have been cases where an intense case of
the chuckles was believed to be the cause of one's demise. Back
on March 24, 1975, 50-year-old English bricklayer Alex Mitchell
kicked the bucket while roaring with laughter at one of his
favorite television shows. His widow witnessed her husband
laugh for twenty-five minutes straight, give one last
tremendous howl, slump onto the television set and croak.
A more recent account was reported just last year from Bangkok,
Thailand. It was reported that a 52-year-old ice cream truck
driver began laughing in his sleep. After a two-minute episode
of the giggles, during which his wife tried to wake him up,
the man stopped breathing and died. After an autopsy revealed
that the man died of a heart attack, the doctor professed that
it was possible that the man could have suffered a heart
seizure from laughing too hard.
Do the tales of these two men perishing from an overabundance
of laughter sound like real life accounts or modern day urban
legends? Either way, you might want to contact your physician
about what dosage of laughter is right for you.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
(or, some guy that writes these things)
***
My younger sister once cracked a rib from laughing too hard, so I s'pose these are not very far-fetched.
And the moral of the story kiddies?
If you want to kill someone and not get caught, clog their arteries with gook at local diners, have them chug absurd amounts of beer, and sit them in front of a Comedy marathon.
MURDER.
+------------- Bizarre Driving Test Answers --------------+
Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the
California Department of Transportation's driving school:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-
way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper
sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic
light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
This next story reminds me of when I worked at a facility for profoundly disabled children. There was a boy with glass eyes who would take them out and throw them at you when he got miffed. Amazing shot, considering he couldn't see. He liked me though, so I never had to deal with it. Thank. gawd.
They Couldn't Believe Their Eyes - Were Missing
OWENSBORO, Ky. - A woman was charged with stealing 50 anti-
que glass eyes from a hospital display case on Christmas
Eve. Melissa Jane Wink was recorded by a surveillance camera
as she snatched the eyes from an exhibit of medical arti-
facts at Owensboro Medical Health System. The value of the
eyes was $2,500 and they were recovered at a home Wink was
staying in. Police Detective Ed Krahwinkel said he didn't
know why someone would steal the eyes. "Honestly, I don't
think she knew what to do with them," Krahwinkel said.
"Being a high profile case - and a used item - I think she
was stuck with them." According to physician Barney Elliott,
the eyes were most likely made at the start of the 20th
century or earlier and came in a variety of colors.
OK, I am done with this shite for today. Time to do dishes and make some phone calls. It's too cold to stay still for long.
Therefore, I bring out my special weapon of choice...a glass of OJ mixed with Peach nectar and...
BIZARRE NEWS
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
It has always been said that laughter is the best medicine.
Scientifically speaking, studies have shown that laughing
produces beneficial effects on physical health, including
decreasing the secretion of certain stress hormones and
boosting blood levels of infection-fighting antibodies. Still,
just like any other medicine, overdoses can lead to fatal
consequences.
Though we often think of the term 'dying laughing' as an
exaggeration, there have been cases where an intense case of
the chuckles was believed to be the cause of one's demise. Back
on March 24, 1975, 50-year-old English bricklayer Alex Mitchell
kicked the bucket while roaring with laughter at one of his
favorite television shows. His widow witnessed her husband
laugh for twenty-five minutes straight, give one last
tremendous howl, slump onto the television set and croak.
A more recent account was reported just last year from Bangkok,
Thailand. It was reported that a 52-year-old ice cream truck
driver began laughing in his sleep. After a two-minute episode
of the giggles, during which his wife tried to wake him up,
the man stopped breathing and died. After an autopsy revealed
that the man died of a heart attack, the doctor professed that
it was possible that the man could have suffered a heart
seizure from laughing too hard.
Do the tales of these two men perishing from an overabundance
of laughter sound like real life accounts or modern day urban
legends? Either way, you might want to contact your physician
about what dosage of laughter is right for you.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
(or, some guy that writes these things)
***
My younger sister once cracked a rib from laughing too hard, so I s'pose these are not very far-fetched.
And the moral of the story kiddies?
If you want to kill someone and not get caught, clog their arteries with gook at local diners, have them chug absurd amounts of beer, and sit them in front of a Comedy marathon.
MURDER.
+------------- Bizarre Driving Test Answers --------------+
Driving School: Real answers received on exams given by the
California Department of Transportation's driving school:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-
way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper
sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic
light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
This next story reminds me of when I worked at a facility for profoundly disabled children. There was a boy with glass eyes who would take them out and throw them at you when he got miffed. Amazing shot, considering he couldn't see. He liked me though, so I never had to deal with it. Thank. gawd.
They Couldn't Believe Their Eyes - Were Missing
OWENSBORO, Ky. - A woman was charged with stealing 50 anti-
que glass eyes from a hospital display case on Christmas
Eve. Melissa Jane Wink was recorded by a surveillance camera
as she snatched the eyes from an exhibit of medical arti-
facts at Owensboro Medical Health System. The value of the
eyes was $2,500 and they were recovered at a home Wink was
staying in. Police Detective Ed Krahwinkel said he didn't
know why someone would steal the eyes. "Honestly, I don't
think she knew what to do with them," Krahwinkel said.
"Being a high profile case - and a used item - I think she
was stuck with them." According to physician Barney Elliott,
the eyes were most likely made at the start of the 20th
century or earlier and came in a variety of colors.
OK, I am done with this shite for today. Time to do dishes and make some phone calls. It's too cold to stay still for long.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-07 01:07 pm (UTC)And I think the moral here is get your laughter out of the way now, and stop laughing at 50. I know I will. Life won't be very funny when I'm old and ugly.
Are you KIDDING???
Date: 2004-01-08 01:16 am (UTC)heh
Re: Are you KIDDING???
Date: 2004-01-09 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-07 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 01:17 am (UTC)