(no subject)

[thedarksiren2]

I love it when my days directly contradict my hor(ror)scopes. I was supposed to have a day where I felt like I could take on the world...I suppose I could, but for now I feel like poo.

Got to class late, as was to be expected. Mrs. Marelli HATES me! I swear! It's the first class I have had so much trouble with, and I am certain it will drag my GPA down when all is said and done.

I don't know what it is...the hunger, the drive, it's just missing. A year ago you couldn't stop me from studying, from focusing on my schoolwork. Now, I am just tired, longing for the invisible *something* that will not reveal itself to me. I don't know what it is, not at all...how does this madness work? Wanting, needing something somewhere...you just know It exists, but it's all based in emotion and senses.

I walked from class with Rich and we passed by this semester's Crush. I decided to be brave, to say hello and ask how he was doing. He looked at me like I was a nutjob, said,"Fine," lowered his eyes and kept walking. This is precisely what I meant by not reading people correctly the other day. I mean, we throw glances back and forth, lower eyes in embarassment, etc.

I am no good at games, board or otherwise.

I am not competitive, not in the sportly sense of the word anyway. (s)karaoke is about the only thing I am competitive at, and I find it even more fun when I have good competition. Segue into tonight, when I should do a thousand other things...I think may head up to Bounce. Rich says they have a (s)karaoke contest on Monday nights, although it is based solely on popularity; The winner is chosen through applause.

I told him if I finish my homework and do everything I am supposed to do. Silly limits I set for myself, and am often disappointed by these days.

Sitting in the little cafe, Java City, drinking the worst chai I have ever tasted on my tongue. I wanted something comforting, and Rich offered to treat me. He went to pick up his honey from work, I stayed here, listening to probably the best bootleg of a movie I have ever seen. Yup, some kid convinced the coffee lady, Joan, to watch a movie on the TV down here. It's a great bootleg though. Underworld. Nice form indeed.

Oh, and sorry to have taken so long but here is an answer for poliwitch: I would totally save the kitty. I may be allergic, but I am not cruel (well, not to animals, anyway.Of course, that depends on your definition!~;)

I am still in a good mood, just kinda bummed out about some things I don't feel very confident in.If anyone is willing to give me a swift kick i the arse, or has ever wanted to in general, now would be a good time.

OK, I think I am going to join the heathens and watch Underworld until it is time for choir.

Comments

[evilshell.livejournal.com]

I think you're just plain burned out. You've been pushing yourself like crazy and it is bound to have just come to a burnout point. Take some time for yourself - pamper yourself!

As for the guy, perhaps he was embarassed? Give it another try, this time when you're alone (maybe he thinks you and Rich are dating?)

I second that

[poliwitch.livejournal.com]

I agree with evilshell, you are burned out. If you could take sometime off or something, but with combination of everything you are just getting crunchy.:)

[jjjiii]

Now that we're coming into the depressing months, I think I might start going out and doing the karaoke thing again. Thing is, I would be much more likely to go to a place on a night if I knew you were planning on being there.