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how, in exhaustion, I found moderate serenity.
I arrived to work late for no better reason but to risk being fired. yes, I am to that point. That's just the thing though...Mr. Toth hates firing people. He likes to drive them out, inch by inch.
He won't get every inch of me, however. I am not so easily owned.
No, instead of succeeding in creating a chaos-based reaction in my world, just the opposite happened, and my manager *fixed* my situation. That makes two attempts at screwing my world completely up in a matter of weeks only to find the self-destruction was futile.
I just want to say to whatever powers that be, "will ya just work with me here?"
*laughs*
typical paperwork mumbo-jumbo blah-dee-bloo...and then a moment of peculiar Zen. I used to achieve this by going to the laundromat at 2AM with a good book, and $20 worth of quarters. There were rarely people there besides me at that time, but the few who were, they were so interesting to watch and interact with. Oh, and how I miss that time to read! I have stacks of books calling to me, crying out, "Why Dawn? Why have you forsaken us?"
Well, not really, but you get the point.~8)
So I took over dinner clean-up and stood at the kitchen sink which, wonderfully, faces west with a great view. I watched the sky melt from blue to lavendar to fuschia to red and orange, and I realized just how much I miss watching sunsets. I think if it weren't so cold I would drive out to Edgewater and watch one, although the best, by far, were seen when I was a teenager in Yorktown and Williamsburg. I hated Newport News when I left VA, but damn if I don't miss the beauty of the woods down there, the smell of the ocean nearby, my cliff hiding on the beach just below the Yorktown battlefields...
I missed my friend Mike Wank at Arabica in Parma today. I thought maybe he hadn't arrived yet, so I decided to read this little metaphysical mag, and really got into it. I haven't thought about that sort of thing in a long time, but their theme for the month was the seeds we plant in our lives. The metaphor was dealt with very well, and my interest in Yoga is even stronger now.
I heard on the news today that we Americans are eating ourselves to death. We don't eat well either, nor do we exercise.
The problem with dieting is the cost. Seriously, diet food that isn't tainted by aspartame and other icky substances is NOT cheap. Also, health clubs and Yoga classes are pretty pricey. Not to say I won't figure this out, because I will. I just want to explore Yoga more. I think it would do me some good.
Walking out to my car tonight, ten hours after I arrived, I saw all three planets glowing like beacons in the cold night sky. Not even the moon could shut them down...they had purpose tonight, and I tried my best to understand but instead drove home listening to Coast-to-Coast AM with george noory while humming Peter Gabriel's "Sky Blue."
***
We spoke,
and he asked me not to run
I said I didn't have that option
thus, he ran instead.
***
Sleep calls. Sorry if this was blah...just...thoughts...
I think I may have to find some butterfly wings under my pillow if I am to get to my final destination this evening. Here's to hoping for a good entry tomorrow in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
abstractions.
I arrived to work late for no better reason but to risk being fired. yes, I am to that point. That's just the thing though...Mr. Toth hates firing people. He likes to drive them out, inch by inch.
He won't get every inch of me, however. I am not so easily owned.
No, instead of succeeding in creating a chaos-based reaction in my world, just the opposite happened, and my manager *fixed* my situation. That makes two attempts at screwing my world completely up in a matter of weeks only to find the self-destruction was futile.
I just want to say to whatever powers that be, "will ya just work with me here?"
*laughs*
typical paperwork mumbo-jumbo blah-dee-bloo...and then a moment of peculiar Zen. I used to achieve this by going to the laundromat at 2AM with a good book, and $20 worth of quarters. There were rarely people there besides me at that time, but the few who were, they were so interesting to watch and interact with. Oh, and how I miss that time to read! I have stacks of books calling to me, crying out, "Why Dawn? Why have you forsaken us?"
Well, not really, but you get the point.~8)
So I took over dinner clean-up and stood at the kitchen sink which, wonderfully, faces west with a great view. I watched the sky melt from blue to lavendar to fuschia to red and orange, and I realized just how much I miss watching sunsets. I think if it weren't so cold I would drive out to Edgewater and watch one, although the best, by far, were seen when I was a teenager in Yorktown and Williamsburg. I hated Newport News when I left VA, but damn if I don't miss the beauty of the woods down there, the smell of the ocean nearby, my cliff hiding on the beach just below the Yorktown battlefields...
I missed my friend Mike Wank at Arabica in Parma today. I thought maybe he hadn't arrived yet, so I decided to read this little metaphysical mag, and really got into it. I haven't thought about that sort of thing in a long time, but their theme for the month was the seeds we plant in our lives. The metaphor was dealt with very well, and my interest in Yoga is even stronger now.
I heard on the news today that we Americans are eating ourselves to death. We don't eat well either, nor do we exercise.
The problem with dieting is the cost. Seriously, diet food that isn't tainted by aspartame and other icky substances is NOT cheap. Also, health clubs and Yoga classes are pretty pricey. Not to say I won't figure this out, because I will. I just want to explore Yoga more. I think it would do me some good.
Walking out to my car tonight, ten hours after I arrived, I saw all three planets glowing like beacons in the cold night sky. Not even the moon could shut them down...they had purpose tonight, and I tried my best to understand but instead drove home listening to Coast-to-Coast AM with george noory while humming Peter Gabriel's "Sky Blue."
***
We spoke,
and he asked me not to run
I said I didn't have that option
thus, he ran instead.
***
Sleep calls. Sorry if this was blah...just...thoughts...
I think I may have to find some butterfly wings under my pillow if I am to get to my final destination this evening. Here's to hoping for a good entry tomorrow in
abstractions.
