Crack a la My Space.com

( what kind of muppet/ seducer are you tests...for when you cannot decide who you are at 4:20AM )

4 AM mocked me, now 5 AM is smacking me, heading for pure abuse in about fifteen minutes

AKA Late-night/ early morning, melancholy spewings...

Where is everyone tonight? I need a bucket...Dawndom is incredibly leaky tonight, and the inhabitants cannot sleep as a result.

Oh, and I fucking hate Paul Oakenfold.
but not really. Just this song..."Someone Like You." It's like a razor down my back, tickling my heart like a rapist in a dark alleyway.

Olivia Newton-John is my hero tonight, however. She reminds me that life is magic when no one else is around. Sounds fucked up and corny, but fuck you if you don't understand.

I need to change some things in my life, like now.

Anyone who is reading this, know that changes are coming. They have to. I have been holding back for so long, I'd forgotten how it felt to connect. I feel so fucking distant from everyone and everything very often, and it becomes incredibly lonely after a while. Yeah, I have goals. So the fuck what. Nothing should replace the precious time I could be spending with loved ones.

It's such a hard balance to try to maintain, so I will do what I can when I can.

But now I ask all of you...if I walk up and kiss you on the cheek, will you be weirded-out? If I take your hand in mine and tell you how much I adore you, how very important you are to me as a friend, as a confidante, will you pull it away?

I just want to re-connect. That's all. Call it desperation, but then look in the mirror and tell me who the desperate one is?

Human touch is so important. Hugs are good drugs, most intoxicating when done well and with the heart and spirit.

I am scared by these, well, for lack of better terms, revelations. They should have been obvious all along. Walls get built, however, and Pink Floyd is a wrench in my throat at times.

So I am a coward, but I am going to face these fears as best as I can. Will you help me? Will my affections, my compliments and appreciation of you scare you away? Perhaps you need to change then too.

It won't be immediate...I sorta have some grieving to do before they can even begin. No, slash that. It's not death, just transformation, right?

I love butterflies.
I need sleep.

Say a little prayer that I don't get sick, please. I feel it coming on, and the next week won't allow for any sick time. Not with finals, and friends coming in from CA (yay! I cannot wait to meet regohemia irl!), Lord of the Rings movies and whatever else I can get immersed in. I don't want to miss anything. Every instant I am alive should be a celebration, after all.


Self-affirmation...yay!

Also, I do not have health insurance anymore. See my predicament?

...


MURDER!

or, better yet...

"I wanna fuck you like you're Hannibal"
a parody to come by yours-truly.

:::don't ask:::

Goodnight, or morning as the case may be.
I need to blow my nose again.

I also need to watch movies like The Big Lebowski and Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? a few thousand times over the course of the next few weeks. Yes, that will do nicely.

renwick suggests magnesium.
I wonder...

HA HA!!!

now then, check this out:

Your Daily Horoscope for December 15, 2003

Dear DAWN,
Today can be an extremely productive day for you, DAWN. You are in a good headspace for working and this will aid you greatly in all your daily endeavors. This is also an excellent time to look at some of the more long-term trends in your life. Consider your life five or ten years from now, and think about how the actions you are taking now are affecting your future. Plan ahead to get ahead.

uncanny. Just fucking uncanny.

Also, I have come to the realization that I swear a lot more when I am sleep-deprived.

YAY!

Last thought, honestly...

I am one sexy biotch in this get-up. 6-something AM, tylenol PM did not even touch my noisy head. Thus, my eyes are puffy, my cheekbones highlighted by mascara smears, hair all a mess. I am serious, not even being smarmy.

OK, bed. yup.