(no subject)

I feel I am reaching a point of great distance
as if I am cutting all ties
and simply finding my focus.

Everything remains a blur, however.
Have no doubts.

I added an icon c/o wraptboy's imaging skills.
It's for when/ if I feel reeeeally mad.
which, really, isn't all too often.

I sent a few people interview questions...it seems like thE sheeply-thing to do.

heh. sheep.
OMFBAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

I worked on my painting that I left for dead a few months ago.
It's called "J-Rae Effect"
I don't know how I feel about the result so far.
It feels like I have almost overwhelmed the main figure

then again
that's kinda what she is

overwhelmed

wondering if I should leave it be
or do the collaging
that was the original intent

There just isn't the anger in me that
there was when it began
and I cannot find the other aspects of the project
it is a part of
a self-therapy of sorts
that helped me sort out everything in the winter
well, mostly.

I realized while helping bindrune moVe the other weekend
that since I was ten
I have lived in 15 different houses/ apartments.

How did I get to where I am?
I feel...detached from my own skin
not a bad thing necessarily
just constantly surreal
which is neat
yet somehow disconcerting at the same time

I haven't been writing here for this very reason
It's like watching me in a dream
which is what happens in all my dreams
if I am in them
My flesh feels unattached
Like if I sneeze too hard
or the wind blows too fast
it might strip away
only I won't be a plastinate

I have no idea where to go from here
I just need focus.
focus 13, to be precise.
and only three
(the magic number)
people truly understand what that means.

Some days...

...you just feel like a woolly mammoth.